Creating Meaning and Continuing Bonds

When we lose someone special to us, we also lose our plans for the future--life as we know it is forever changed. In this chaos it can be very difficult to find meaning. When you have moved through the worst of your grief, you may be ready to find new ways to stay connected with those you have lost. Here are some ways to create connection and meaning.

• Memory Quilts or Pillows: Transform clothing into a quilt, stuffed animal or pillow, which can be particularly comforting for children and family members.

• Memory Boxes: Create a dedicated box to store cherished, small, personal items, photos, or letters.

• Recipe Book: Compile a binder of the person’s favorite, original recipes to be passed down to family members.

• Photo Album or Story Book: Organize photos or create a book collecting anecdotes and stories.

• Artistic Tributes: Paint, draw, or make pottery inspired. 

  
  

2. Rituals and Commemorations

• Planting a Living Memorial: Plant a tree, rose bush, or a full garden in their honor, allowing a living space to grow and change, representing continuing life.

• Holiday or Birthday Traditions: Continue to celebrate their birthday or favorite holiday by making their favorite meal, visiting a special spot, or lighting a candle.

• Random Acts of Kindness: Perform anonymous acts of kindness in your loved one's name to pay it forward.

• Memorial Bench or Plaque: Purchase a commemorative bench in a park or place that was meaningful to them.

• Music/Playlist Collection: Compile a playlist of their favorite songs or hymns. 

3. Tangible and Lasting Legacy

• Donations in Their Name: Contribute or raise funds for a nonprofit that provided care or was close to their heart.

• Digital Memorial: Create a social media memorial page or an online memorial website where friends can share memories and photos.

• Record Oral Histories: Record and document family stories, philosophies, and histories, and share them with younger generations.

• DNA/Family Tree: Initiate or continue a family tree, using DNA tests to learn more about roots to share with future generations. 

4. Therapeutic and Internal Meaning-Making

• Journaling/Writing Letters: Write letters to the person who has passed, sharing updates or memories, or keep a journal to process feelings.

• Connecting with Others: Join support groups or connect with people who have experienced similar losses, often sharing stories to honor the deceased.

• Remembering Conversations: Actively share stories that showcase who they were, bringing the best of the past into the future.

• Advocacy Work and volunteering: Dedicate time to causes, such as raising awareness for a disease or issue that affected their life. Volunteer with your local Hospice or community organizations who provide care.