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You were doing okay. Functioning. Working. Laughing, even. And then—out of nowhere—grief crashes in. A song in the grocery store. A smell. Maybe you won't even realize what set you off. These moments are often called grief bursts: sudden waves of emotion that feel disproportionate to the moment but are deeply connected to a loss you’ve experienced. They can be disorienting, embarrassing, exhausting, and frightening—especially if you thought you were past this by now. Grief Bu

When we lose someone special to us, we also lose our plans for the future--life as we know it is forever changed. In this chaos it can be very difficult to find meaning. When you have moved through the worst of your grief, you may be ready to find new ways to stay connected with those you have lost. Here are some ways to create connection and meaning. Memory Quilts or Pillows: Transform clothing into a quilt, stuffed animal or pillow, which can be particularly comforting for

When we experience trauma, the reasoning and organizational parts of our brain hand over control to the instinctual fight, flight or freeze parts so that we can keep ourselves safe. As a result, the memories from the trauma aren’t ‘filed’ in the correct place or in the correct way. This means intrusive thoughts can pop into your brain at any time, unbidden. These thoughts are often accompanied by strong emotions and can be difficult to get rid of. Here are some techniques to

The reason parents and family members are reticent is that they want to protect their children from the suffering associated with death. Unfortunately, they can’t be protected, and excluding them leaves them feeling alone and unable to talk to adults about how they feel. Children are smart and perceptive and they will know that something is up. You are showing them that the way to deal with death is to not speak about it and to hide your feelings. They will do so because they

What to say, what to do, and how to truly show up When someone you love is grieving, it’s natural to feel unsure of what to say or afraid of sayi ng the “wrong” thing. Many people fall back on familiar phrases or vague offers of help—well-intended, but not really supportive. The truth is, there are no perfect things to say. What they need is presence, honesty, and tangible care. 1. What to Say Instead of “Sorry for Your Loss” “Sorry for your loss” is polite, but it can feel i

Grief is something we struggle to deal with as a society. When grieving, you may find people's responses to your needs hurtful or inadequate, but remember they aren't sure what to do. You may get very tired of hearing: "Sorry for your loss," but what they are really saying is: "I love you." When you are grieving, you have to decide which influences you allow in your life, and defend your right to grieve in the way you want to. Here's how to empower yourself to grieve in a way