All Posts

We push difficult emotions away because they feel overwhelming or uncomfortable. But emotions don't go away, they just get bigger and louder when we don't process them. Learning how to process emotions does not mean “fixing” them. It means allowing yourself to recognize, feel, understand, and move through them with compassion. Step 1: Naming is Taming The first step is simply noticing what you are feeling. Focus on the feeling, and name it. Is it anger, fear, hurt? It's ok to

It’s tough to watch someone you love go through the pain of mourning. Our natural instinct is to fix it, to help. Or maybe you’re not sure of what to say or do and you don’t want to make it worse, so you stay away. The truth is: you don’t need perfect words. What matters most is your presence. Grief is not something you can fix—but you can walk alongside someone as they carry it. You can hold space for them to feel their pain and that will make them feel just a little less lo

Grief can be all-consuming and overwhelming. When we are grieving, our minds and bodies are under immense stress. In these moments, gentle grounding and self-compassion practices can help create a small sense of steadiness. Below are some simple techniques to support you through difficult moments of grief, stress, and emotional overwhelm. Supportive Touch Sometimes the body needs comfort just as much as the mind. Try offering yourself physical reassurance through gentle touch

After a loss, you feel it--that pressure to move on, to go back to normal life. You may be asking yourself; “How long is this supposed to last? ” When you're grieving, time itself seems to change. Days can feel endless. Weeks blur together. The world keeps moving while part of you remains frozen in the moment everything changed. You may feel pressure for grieving “too long,” or not grieving in the “right” way. Here's the thing: there is no timeline for mourning. There's no ri

Loss is something we all experience in our lives and, as a result, there are as many theories on how to deal with it as the day is long. I use a combination of approaches tailored to the individual needs of every person as grief different for everyone. I do find myself continuously returning to the work of J. William Worden, who developed the Tasks of Mourning . Instead of seeing grief as something that simply happens to us, Worden suggested actively working through grief. T

“What is to give light must endure burning.” ― Victor Frankl Life just isn't fair. Into your life will come people and circumstances that treat you with indifference and unkindness. They hurt you, even though you don't deserve to be hurt. We want people to change, to see that we deserve kindness and to treat us with respect. We wait for circumstances to go our way and lament when they don't. Unfortunately, people seldom change and life will always be chaotic. The only real po

You were doing okay. Functioning. Working. Laughing, even. And then—out of nowhere—grief crashes in. A song in the grocery store. A smell. Maybe you won't even realize what set you off. These moments are often called grief bursts: sudden waves of emotion that feel disproportionate to the moment but are deeply connected to a loss you’ve experienced. They can be disorienting, embarrassing, exhausting, and frightening—especially if you thought you were past this by now. Grief Bu

When we lose someone special to us, we also lose our plans for the future--life as we know it is forever changed. In this chaos it can be very difficult to find meaning. When you have moved through the worst of your grief, you may be ready to find new ways to stay connected with those you have lost. Here are some ways to create connection and meaning. Memory Quilts or Pillows: Transform clothing into a quilt, stuffed animal or pillow, which can be particularly comforting for

When we experience trauma, the reasoning and organizational parts of our brain hand over control to the instinctual fight, flight or freeze parts so that we can keep ourselves safe. As a result, the memories from the trauma aren’t ‘filed’ in the correct place or in the correct way. This means intrusive thoughts can pop into your brain at any time, unbidden. These thoughts are often accompanied by strong emotions and can be difficult to get rid of. Here are some techniques to

The reason parents and family members are reticent is that they want to protect their children from the suffering associated with death. Unfortunately, they can’t be protected, and excluding them leaves them feeling alone and unable to talk to adults about how they feel. Children are smart and perceptive and they will know that something is up. You are showing them that the way to deal with death is to not speak about it and to hide your feelings. They will do so because they

What to say, what to do, and how to truly show up When someone you love is grieving, it’s natural to feel unsure of what to say or afraid of sayi ng the “wrong” thing. Many people fall back on familiar phrases or vague offers of help—well-intended, but not really supportive. The truth is, there are no perfect things to say. What they need is presence, honesty, and tangible care. 1. What to Say Instead of “Sorry for Your Loss” “Sorry for your loss” is polite, but it can feel i

Grief is something we struggle to deal with as a society. When grieving, you may find people's responses to your needs hurtful or inadequate, but remember they aren't sure what to do. You may get very tired of hearing: "Sorry for your loss," but what they are really saying is: "I love you." When you are grieving, you have to decide which influences you allow in your life, and defend your right to grieve in the way you want to. Here's how to empower yourself to grieve in a way